Reading to Write

My Path to Becoming an Author

Page: May 25, 2012 ~ Moths

Every week Madison Woods posts a new photo prompt on Wednesday.  She calls it Friday Fictioneers.

Dozens of her fans, like me, write 100 words that somehow touch the subject of the photo and post links to their work on her site Friday.  Then everyone jumps across the ether to multiple little vignettes of imagination and comments on them.

This week, I humbly submit two versions for your consideration.  The first is what I came up with based on Madison’s whole photo.  The second uses only what seems to be the main focus of the photo, the moths, to continue exploring Mariska’s reality.

Bright Lights, Big City

The moths clinging to the shaft of light from the drive up window caught Sally’s attention as her mother pulled to a stop.

“Mommy, look, butterflies,” chirped the 3 year old redhead from the backseat.

“No, Punkin’, those are moths,” replied Maggie.

“What’s a moth?”

“It’s kind of like a butterfly, but you mostly see them at night.  They’re attracted to the lights.”

“Like Daddy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said he only likes the bright lights of the city.  Doesn’t Grandma have lights?  I don’t want to live in the dark.”

“Oh.  Of course Grandma has lights, silly.”


Mariska’s Story

The rushing whisper of giant wings was all the warning Mariska had before the deadly green moth swooped down to scoop up the deer she had been stalking.  She shrank between the trunks of a Balong tree and watched in helpless frustration.

Her quest had kept her on Jake’s trail for more than a week and her food supplies were nearly gone.  If he kept going in the same direction, they would soon enter the southern desert.  She needed to make a good kill tonight if she was going to continue.  The only meat in the desert would be locusts.

26 Responses to “May 25, 2012 ~ Moths”

  1. Melody, I love the first one. ‘Out of the mouth of babes…………………’ And I’m laughing here so hard. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/fridayfictioneers-preying-mantis/

  2. Sandra Crook says:

    They were both good, I enjoyed them. I’d thought Mariska was a wolf, so the bit about food supplies puzzled me. Nevertheless, good work on both counts.
    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/checkin-out-the-joint-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Mariska is of a humanoid species in another reality that has some animal characteristics. I believe it’s possible she may change physically at times. 🙂

  3. Janet says:

    I enjoyed them both and as they were so competely different, I cannot pick which was the better one. Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/05/25/despite-your-intentions/

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Thanks for stopping by. I like yours too.

    2. Jihan says:

      Well, if the desert lstuocs are as big as the moths, one locust should feed her well!As for the first story nice shift in tone at the end! It starts out feeling like an ordinary stop at McD’s with the usual curious child questions and then suddenly we realize that not all is well with the parents’ marriage, right?

  4. CC says:

    I enjoyed the first story. I wonder if dad’s around still… The second story had the ring of an interesting sci-fi piece. There’s a longer story lurking in there for sure. Nice job.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/chasing-the-divine/

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Yes, Mariska is the main character of a larger story. I’m building her world piece by FF piece. 😉

  5. The Lime says:

    I like them both. Definitely a stark contrast between them.

    The natural dialogue in the first scene is lovely, and the second captures the sense of an adventure novel with good description and forward movement. Lovely work 🙂

    Mine’s here: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/landing-98/

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Thank you, Lime (one of my favorite flavors). I’m on my way to check out yours.

  6. yaral says:

    I liked this I could relate with the mom having to try and explain moths =)
    here is mine http://yaralwrites.com/

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Yes, Yaral, I’ve been there as well. With grandchildren as well as children. Toddlers can come up with the most interesting conversations if you just listen.

  7. Both were good, no doubt of that, personal preference was the surreality of Mariska’s hunting trip gone awry.

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Thank you Mary. At first, I didn’t see how to put this week’s prompt into Mariska’s story, but there had been some sort of huge flying predator lurking in my mind for her and this made it jell for me.

  8. Carrie says:

    I enjoyed them both but the second really dumped me right into the moment of time and I felt like I was alongside Mariska 🙂

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Thank you Carrie. I do love writing about Mariska. The FF is giving me an opportunity to play in a world that’s been building in my imagination for several years.

      1. Jane says:

        I truly enjoyed them both. I idenitfied with the curious child. It mad me sad. The second was such a departure from the first that it took a second for me to, readjust. Love the Mariska piece! A giant Moth that can swoop up Deer provides a startling visual. Good job!Sussan De Allura

  9. Charles Oyeleke Williams says:

    Pretty!

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Charles, you must come back. We’re waiting for the next episode of your story.

  10. Lora says:

    I liked the first one (not into sci-fi). I believe the title is a take on that famous book/film. Smooth flowing dialogue. Though not specific, I get the feeling they are leaving daddy to the bright lights and moving back with grandma. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    1. Melody Pearson says:

      Yes, Lora. That’s my thought as well. The prompt of the McDonald’s window put me back into the “traveling with a toddler” mode. From there the idea just kind of sprang alive. 😉

  11. Kwadwo says:

    I like the different perspectives you give to this picture.
    I think I like the first story better.

    Here’s mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/05/25/mothballs/

  12. SharonW says:

    Well, if the desert locusts are as big as the moths, one locust should feed her well!

    As for the first story – nice shift in tone at the end! It starts out feeling like an ordinary stop at McD’s with the usual curious child questions – and then suddenly we realize that not all is well with the parents’ marriage, right?

  13. jkbradley says:

    Egads, that must be a rather large moth!

    Enjoyed them both.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/flash-fiction-friday-almost/

  14. Sussin De Allura says:

    I truly enjoyed them both. I identified with the curious child. It mad me sad. The second was such a departure from the first that it took a second for me to, readjust. Love the Mariska piece! A giant Moth that can swoop up Deer provides a startling
    visual. Good job!

    Sussan De Allura

  15. lucidgypsy says:

    I like the first one best but find it quite moving. It seems to me like the parents have separated and are going to live with grandmother.

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