Here’s my current opening section for my first work “in progress”:
Even though it was only two o’clock Randi was packing her overnight case to take to Wendi’s. She had been forced to stay home more often than not lately, because her mother had been taking extra shifts on weekends. She was anxious to make up for lost time. Besides, Wendi had promised her a big surprise this weekend, and Randi was jittery with anticipation. All day she had held her breath every time her mother started to talk, afraid something would happen to cancel her escape.
“Miranda, where are you?”
“Coming Momma, I was just making sure I have every thing I need to take to Wendi’s. Aunt Karen said we’re going fishing tomorrow and I was adding some old clothes to wear on the trip. I sure hope Daddy’s not late getting home from work. Uncle John is supposed to be picking me up at five, on his way home from the office.” The slender fifteen year old dashed down the stairs as she chattered, but slowed to a walk before she met her mother in the kitchen doorway.
“Well, you still have chores to do and supper to fix before you can leave young lady. Don’t think that you can get by with sneaking off before your work is done.”
“I always do my chores. You know that, Momma. Why do you always have to think I’m going to be bad? I never do anything wrong. Gosh, I almost never do anything at all.”
“Miranda Darlene McKenzie don’t you get smart with me. You’re not too big to have your mouth washed out.”
“I’m sorry. Really I am. I promise everything will be done before I go.”
Randi couldn’t believe she had let her feelings run off with her mouth. She could have gotten herself grounded and wound up spending another weekend playing board games with the twins and Jeff. She loved all her brothers and sisters, especially seven year old Donna who seemed almost like her own child, but she needed this weekend. Her mother’s strict rules didn’t allow her much freedom. Most of her time was consumed with baby sitting her four younger brothers and sisters, cooking supper almost every evening, and doing most of the housework. Her schedule made school and church seem like a vacation. The only approved social life she had otherwise was an occasional weekend spent with her cousin and best friend, Wendi.
Randi decided she’d better put some space between herself and her mother before more sparks flew. She darted past Sarah’s short chubby figure and headed across the kitchen with her head down to hide the angry flush of her cheeks.
“I’d better check on the washing,” she choked out, as she rushed out the back door and down the wooden steps to the yard.
Bringing in the laundry was one of Randi’s favorite jobs. She loved being enveloped in the fresh bleachy clean scent as she pulled the wooden pins free and folded the bright white sheets into the wicker basket at her feet. Sometimes she envied Wendi’s bed with its pink, rose covered linens, but Momma said sheets were supposed to be white, so you could always tell they were clean.
The next line was filled with Sarah’s nursing uniforms and white t-shirts belonging to the male half of the family. At the end of each row were a dozen pairs of white bobby socks in various sizes. Randi dropped them on top of everything else, grabbed the handles of the basket and headed into the house. Setting the basket on a kitchen chair, she quickly folded the socks and added the uniforms to the ironing basket below the table.
She had used up fifteen minutes of the time before her mother would be leaving for work. To avoid another confrontation, she carried the remaining laundry upstairs and started putting things away. She had just finished stuffing the last of her sisters’ socks into their drawers when her mother’s voice brought her attention to the top of the stairs.
“I’ve got to go, Miranda. The menu for dinner is on the kitchen bulletin board. Behave yourself at your Aunt Karen’s. I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Ok, Momma.” Randi repressed a sigh of frustration. Since she had to do almost all the cooking, it would have been nice if she could decide for herself what to fix sometimes, but her mother always planned every meal. Every time Randi tried to make even the smallest suggestion, it was firmly rejected.
“You’d better put the roast on now or it won’t be done when your father gets home.”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m on my way. Have a good evening at work.”
As always Randi followed her mother’s menu exactly, from what seasonings to use for the roast to the kind of beverages everyone should drink. She was just pouring the milk into glasses for the kids when her father pulled into the driveway. Her brothers, thirteen year old Stephen and ten year old Jeff, came crashing through the back door and tossed their ball gloves onto the counter as they crowded up to the sink to wash their hands.
“Boy, it sure is a pain to have to stop in the middle of a game to come home and eat dinner. Why can’t we eat later during the summer? I’m not even hungry,” grumbled Jeff.
“You don’t eat because you’re hungry. You eat to keep from getting hungry,” their father said as he came quietly in the same door his sons had slammed through a moment before.
“Hi, Daddy, did you have a good day?” Randi gave her father a quick hug as she went to the stairs to call Stephanie and Donna to come eat.
“Oh, pretty much the usual. I guess you’re all excited about going to Wendi’s tonight. Is someone picking you up?”
“Uncle John should be here in a few minutes. I think I’ve got time to eat though.”
Seeing her family gathered around the dining room table always made Randi smile. She and all four of her brothers and sisters had her father’s coppery hair and deep blue eyes. It pleased something inside her to think they all took after their gentle, affectionate father instead of their demanding mother. Not a blonde hair or grey eye in the bunch. When her mother was home everyone had to be on their best behavior, and children were to be seen not heard. With only Daddy in attendance dinner was a relaxed, chatty meal and Randi could jump up to leave, without waiting for everyone else to finish eating, when Uncle John blew his horn from the curb out front.
“Stephanie, it’s the boys’ turn to wash the dishes. Don’t let them con you into doing it for them. I’ll see you all Sunday. Be good for Daddy tonight.”
As she slid into her uncle’s brand new Edsel, her father stuck his head out the door and called to his brother-in-law.
“Hey John, how’s it going?”
“Gettin’ by I guess, Keith. Are you on for bowling tomorrow night?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. See you there. Bye Randi, have fun.”
Randi smiled with pleasure to hear her father call her by her nickname. It further emphasized the difference in the way her parents treated her. Her father acknowledged her wish to match her name to Wendi’s. It made them feel more like the twins they wished they were. Her mother still insisted on calling her Miranda, saying that Randi was a boy’s name and not suitable for a young lady.
This was supposed to demonstrate the mother’s attitude and Miranda’s relationship with her parents as well as her place within the family. I’m not sure where exactly it needs adjustment, but I’m sure it does. Comments will be taken into consideration.
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