Every week Madison Woods posts a new photo prompt on Wednesday. She calls it Friday Fictioneers.
Dozens of her fans, like me, write 100 words that somehow touch the subject of the photo and post links to their work on her site Friday. Then everyone jumps across the ether to multiple little vignettes of imagination and comments on them. Madison is trying something new this week. Below the story, you will find a list of everyone else who is participating. Don’t forget to leave a comment before you run off to check them out. 🙂
My tale this week is back-story. I’ve finally realized how Mariska came to be trailing Jake alone for so long and thought some of my fellow fictioneers might be interested. This week’s prompt fit perfectly.
Since some readers had a problem with the third paragraph, I’ve revised it. The new version is actually seven words shorter. 😉 If you still find it difficult, please tell me in the comments, so I can work on it some more.
Photo from Madison Woods
Mariska perched on a flat rock embedded in the top of the ridge. Her coloring gradually adjusted to match the surrounding brush, making her nearly invisible from below, but she had a perfect view of the trail to the river.
She waited patiently.
Jake had said he would circle around the band of slavers and allow himself to be taken. They would have to bring him, along with any others they had captured, up this trail. It led to the only safe river crossing in a hundred miles. The band always came and went too quickly to be traveling any other path.
A heroic/chivalrous decision by Jake; though I feel there is much left to be said. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/fridayfictioneers-sacrilege/
Wow. Awesome. Here’s mine! http://saberdragon.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneer-on-the-path/
Very interested to know what she is that she has chameleon qualities 🙂 I also wanted to know more about Jake
I was a little confused by the third paragraph. Are the slavers and the marauders the same people? Or are the slavers the “they” that know the marauders always come from the south? Is it the marauders whose home base has to be on the other side of the river? You might be able to clear things up a bit by eliminating words and varying punctuation.
Overall, it felt like classic sci-fi to me 🙂 It definitely seemed like you were setting things up for some not-too-distant melee.
You aren’t the only person who had that problem. Thanks for the insight. I’ll try to go back and fix it. In answer: The slavers and marauders are the same. I just have a thing about using the same word too many times in such a small space. The slavers/marauders come from the south and the other side of the river. I really appreciate constructive feedback. Praise is nice and buries my inner critic for a while, but it doesn’t help me improve very much.
I loved how clear a sense of the geography your story gives; it anchors the reader in this place, and suggests how far-roaming the slavers are and how dangerous they can be. I think I’ll be heading back to read other bits of this story now..
Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/06/15/arrival-in-sharesh-an-ill-omen/)
I was so excited to see Mariska again! I’m lagging on my reading with the kids home from school, so I’m especially glad I caught this episode.
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/breadcrumbs/
Thanks Kathy. If you’ve missed any they are on the tab labeled “Previous Friday Fictioneer Exercises.” I’m having fun with Mariska. I’m glad others are enjoying her too. I really liked your Breadcrumbs piece too.
I liked the story however I was a little lost with the comment previous to the story, I assumed (correct me if I’m wrong) that all this are a leading to a big story you have been telling. I tried to look for the other parts of the story and couldnt really find it. So I am not sure if today’s is just one off or if you are making a bigger story. This is my second time hence why I am all a little confused. I really liked it though but yeah the 3rd paragraph didn’t make much sense to me. Thank you .
http://vsichalwe.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneers-2/
If you go to the menu bar and look under “Flash Fiction,” there’s a link called “Previous Weeks Fictioneer Exercises.” There are tabs for four other episodes there. I haven’t been doing it all that long myself, so I’m still playing with the display format. I’ve got a new plugin that will let me have more than one blog page and I think I’m going to move them all to one spot. An idea I’m borrowing from Russel Gayer over at http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/2012/06/myth-confirmation.html?showComment=1339795089380#c8366396025566273377.
Thanks for coming by. I’m sorry it wasn’t clear for you. Maybe the other pieces will help if you have time to check them out. It’s all part of a much larger WIP that’s been on the back burner for a couple of years. Madison’s Friday Fiction prompts just seem to pull it back to the front. I’m heading over to yours now.
Interesting story – I’d like to know more!
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/flash-friday-fiction-5/
It’s a WIP. Unfortunately (or not, depends on your pov) most of the progress lately has been on Friday Fictioneers. How inventive you were to turn the photo of yours into black and white, very nice.
I like where this story is headed. Today’s snippet just whets the appetite for more. I also read the comments, and might suggest you use ‘enemy’ as synonym for marauder. It’s simple and is less confusing than slavers.
Thanks for your kind comments on mine. Here’s the link for others
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Thanks for the kind words, Russell. I really don’t want to give up slavers, since that’s a key part of the longer story. I’ve re-written the offending paragraph. Hopefully, it is easier to understand now and I lost seven words in the process. Tighter is better, right? Constructive suggestions are greatly appreciated. I have no one in my family or land-based friends who gives me that.
That’s an adventurous duo. The story leaves me wondering, though.
What happens next?
Mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/15/six-oclock/
I liked this, it is intriguing and makes you want to read more. This is the first I have arrived on your blog so I am unfamilar with your characters. But this makes me want to read more and find out what Mariska is going to do to save Jake when the band gets here! Very Good! 🙂
Another excellent installment. You’ve managed to keep my attention.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/flash-fiction-friday-letting-go/
This is a mysterious piece which evokes many questions. For one…wonder how she manages to save him? Since you say it’s an excerpt from a WIP…I guess we will have to wait. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.colm
Wow what a lot of story conveyed here. A self sacrificing hero and and a being that can create her own camouflage. Amazing!