Reading to Write

I was born during World War II, too late for the depression and too early to be a Baby Boomer. My father was from Ohio, a career army sergeant, and my mother from Kentucky. They met when he was stationed at Fort Knox. I was born while he was serving as a drill instructor and he was deployed soon after. I was eighteen months old before he came back to the states. He was a reserved man who didn’t socialize much and spent most of his free time with a book in his hand. My mother, on the other hand, never met a stranger and loved to talk. They were proof of the old saying, “opposites attract.” Still, I never saw or even heard them argue, much less fight.

I had four younger brothers. The oldest of whom has already passed away. I sometimes wonder if I would be more comfortable with women if I had been blessed with a sister, or a female cousin who lived nearby. As things were, I grew up a tomboy and my best friend was a male cousin almost the same age as me.

I am more like my father than my mother and he recognized that fact early. He had run away from home when he was sixteen and his family didn’t even know where he was until a year later when he came home for them to sign permission for him to enter the army.

He was always too lenient with me because he was afraid I would follow in his footsteps. He let me start dating when I was only twelve and gave permission for me to marry when I was sixteen as long as I promised to finish high school, which he had never done. I barely managed to keep that promise, graduating two years later, just one month before my oldest son was born.

Maybe I’d have been better off is my parents had been stricter, but I can’t say I’ve got regrets. If I wished for a different life, I’d be wishing away my five children and I could never do that. They are my joy, my pride, and probably the only reason I am still alive.

I have been married twice and it is a testament to my stubborn determination that each one lasted about ten years. My mother once told my second husband, “You’d better watch out. She’ll put up with a lot, but once she’s done, that’s it. She’ll never go back.” I stayed with each of them until I simply couldn’t survive any longer, then left and started over. I don’t mean to say they weren’t good men, they were. They worked hard and neither of them were physically abusive. Mental and emotional abuse weren’t considered issues back then. The problems were as much my fault as theirs. I simply wasn’t capable of being what they (and I) thought a good wife should be. I couldn’t adapt to their ideas and they couldn’t accept me as I was.

After my second divorce, I concluded that I wasn’t meant to be married and tried for a few years to adjust myself to casual relationships, but that didn’t work out well either. About the time my youngest daughter had her first child, I decided to give up men altogether and made a private commitment with my God to remain celibate. It has been surprisingly easy. Maybe the world would be better off if more people made the attempt.

I worked at various computer-related jobs for around twenty years. In 2004, I decided to retire and go back to school so that my youngest brother and I could open a web design business together. At the present time the web design business is mostly part-time. We mainly provide services for local companies and churches. The work fluctuates. Sometimes we have two or three projects going at once, then it may be months before we take on another job. We also maintain our church’s website and a couple of other sites for non-profit organizations that interest us.

When he and some of his friends started a photography club a few years ago, he drafted me into photography as well. Most of my photographic efforts revolve around family or club activities, but I do occasionally try my hand at art work as well. Most of the header images here will come from my photography. I don’t expect to ever be a professional, but I do enjoy finding my vision.