Reading to Write

My Path to Becoming an Author

Shelter

Written By: Melody Pearson - Jun• 18•14
old-wallpaper-mary-shipman

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright -Mary Shipman

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is taking a break from Friday Fictioneers this week.  She has other commitments.  So she’s indulging in the time-honored tradition of summer reruns.  I remember the prompt from last year.  It didn’t inspire me at the time, but I’ve decided to take another stab at it.  My 100 words are below:

Rachael searched wearily through the rubble of the bombed out town for a secure place to spend the night.  Another 243 miles to get home, if it was still there. Two weeks of walking had not made her hopeful.  She scooted under fallen roof timbers that supported half of a leaning wall and shrugged out of her backpack.  Tomorrow she would have to find food and water to replenish her supplies.  It was getting colder at night.  Soon she would need blankets.  She curled in on herself.  Hidden from the world, she closed her eyes and prayed not to dream.  

 

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12 Comments

  1. Adelie says:

    This was so powerful and engaging. I could really sense her desperation and fatigue. This has a post-apocalyptic feel, but it’s also a story that could be existing today.

    • Melody Pearson says:

      Thanks, Adelie. That’s what I was going for. I wanted it to feel timeless. It could be the past, the present, or the future. World-wide or a localized thing.

  2. I would love to hear more about her journey! This got me hooked. :)

    • Melody Pearson says:

      Hmmm….I was working with the moment. It’s something I’d have to think about. Maybe, later. Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. Bjorn says:

    The real power in the story is that last sentence.. it becomes a cliffhanger since we all want to know what she didn’t want to dream…

  4. Sandra says:

    Nicely done. Post apocalyptic or not, there’s a sense of desperate fatigue here.

  5. Bjorn has already said it – the last line is the clincher. Glad you took a stab at this prompt! Your words tell a great story.

  6. P.S. Josh says:

    Melody, Good story with great description. I felt like I was there with her. I agree that it’s a good beginning for a longer story. Well written. :) —Susan

  7. Nan Claire Falkner says:

    Dear Melody, Wonderful story – I could feel her desperation to get home? The sentence that she prays she doesn’t dream is so amazing! Wonderful imagery here! Thanks, Nan :)

  8. Dear Melody,

    “prayed not to dream.” Powerful.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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